I never want kids. My mom started this foster care stuff and with the way the kids are acting when they come in, not to mention the fact I get attached and then they're shipped off back to their parents is very hard and emotionally scarring on me. They infuriate me, children do. I have a very, very short temper and I tend to lash out violently if I get pissed off enough (though I refrain from lashing out at my parents, that's more trouble than it's worth). Another reason, mainly, is that everything that has come into my life, like a pet my mom has gotten me or the foster kids, has been ripped away from me in some manner. My dog Jack, who was the most precious thing in the world to me, had to be given a new home because my mom forced me to simply because he 'didn't do very well with other dogs' when in all honesty he had been doing just fine. My cat, my mom forced me to put outside in the cold two foot high snow and she ran away never to be seen until now (she's gotten so big!
![In love <3](./images/smilies/hearty.gif)
) but my mom won't let me take her in again. Same case as earlier stated with the foster kids. Not to mention, I believe that, really, raising a kid is more trouble than it's worth.
So in accordance with the emotional pain my mother has put me through with pets and foster kids, I'm just scared that if I do have a kid it's gonna die on me or it's going to get taken away from me. I don't want that to happen, because I know what it's like to lose somehting you love, something you love terrbly. I know that if you're loving somehtig you should let it go, but honestly, I'd be to selfish to do that.
Everytime I remind my mother that I am not going to have kids, she says "Oh you'll change your mind one day. I want a grandbaby or two. 8D" Uh, no. I'm not giving in and giving you a grandbaby just because I'm your only kid and your only way of getting a grandbaby. Thankfully, once my dad remarried I wasn't the only way of my dad being a grandfather, but unfortunately they have to do some convincing of my sister as well as me. Mom, that's why you're doing this foster to adopt shit, you want another kid, and after you had me you pulled a stupid move and freaked and got your tubes tied! Not my fault, and I'm not gonna give you what you want if it makes me unhappy. And a kid would make me terribly unhappy. I may only be fifteen, but this is a coice I am dead set on. I'm not changing my mind.
So yes, this is why I shall remain childless.